国外也有段子手:这一次,奏响自己的狂想曲!

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷,各支国家队开始秣马厉兵。英格兰在温布利球场遭西班牙逆转,意大利与波兰握手言和,而巴西、阿根廷、德国和法国等球队则纷纷战胜了对手。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们精彩的吐槽吧!

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!经过了120分钟苦战,克罗地亚凭借佩里西奇和曼朱基奇的进球以2-1的比分战胜英格兰队,队史首次挺进世界杯决赛,将与法国队争夺大力神杯。而英格兰队将与比利时队进行季军争夺战。好了,话不多说,快让我们来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

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领先被翻盘,英格兰1-2西班牙

Godeman88:电视竟然不直播这场比赛,而去播什么情景喜剧?我就纳闷了,看英格兰比赛明明比看喜剧好笑多了啊!(WTF why the fuck terrestrial tv plays sitcoms instead of this match, absolute no fucking sitcoms is funnier than England matches.)

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:“闭上眼睛,你会得到世界上最好的礼物哦~”“英格兰队勇夺世界杯?”

Neverdoug:看到英格兰队输球了,我才意识到这欧洲国家联赛不是什么鸡肋友谊赛,而是正儿八经的重大赛事啊!(We lost so we know that the UEFA Nations League league is as important as any other competition or just a tinpot friendlies no one gives a shit about anyway.)

Pressurevoid:我们输了球,那总得找个背锅的替罪羊吧?既然斯特林没上场,那你看让亨德森背锅怎样?(As we lose this game, we will need a scapegoat. Sterling isn´t playing, so it´s gonna be Henderson.?)

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QuillRat:西班牙队不接触球员就把球抢去了,这简直就是作弊!(Getting the ball and not touching the player is not a fucking cheat for spainish.)

Ox_The_Fox:阿里在场上都完全隐身了,为什么赛后评分还是能找到他?(why Alli still has a rating, he's been shockingly invisible.)

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andpaper_zoe:我们不会在这国家联赛里降级吧…(We're gonna get relegated.)

wrdb2007:世界杯他们喷德赫亚的时候我是不信的,直到我看见拉什福德都能进他球门…(I could hardly figure out why they criticized De Gea in World Cup until even Rashford scored a goal against him.)

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克罗地亚2-1英格兰,与法国会师世界杯决赛

Weale:哈哈!上次我对决赛这么充满信心,那还是…两年前法国踢葡萄牙的时候…(Lol I haven't felt this confident for a final before a game since France-Portugal 2 years ago.)

Yzury:起码这次我们不是被冰岛淘汰的了…(at least we weren't knocked out by Iceland this time)

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Preperprep:好紧张啊,请问怎样才能装作经常看我们踢世界杯半决赛的样子?(This is so nervous, wtf how are you supposed to act when you're in a semi final?)

razt99:好好欣赏吧,顺便祈祷一下还能活到下次我们再踢世界杯半决赛的时候…(Just enjoy it and pray to live long enough to the next semi final.)

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carterish:这届世界杯改变了英格兰很多,利物浦球迷和曼联球迷温柔以待,阿森纳球迷也在为热刺的球员加油,所有英格兰人民都成了好朋友!(This World Cup has changed England. Liverpool fans being nice to Man Utd fan. Arsenal fans actually praising Spurs people. Everyone in the nation are like friends.)

Midwesternhousewives:从这届世界杯的看台球迷来看,我敢确定英格兰百分百一个女人都没有!(So based on the crowd shots I've seen this cup, I've learned that England apparently have absolutely 0 women.)

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:那位美国球迷,只是缺少发现美的眼睛...

13853211:机智的英格兰队,避免输掉点球大战的最好方法,就是点球大战前就被淘汰!(Genius England, can't lose penalties if you don't make it to penalties.)

Evane7:法国是不是得做好踢120分钟的准备了…(France should be ready to play 120 fucking minutes.)

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TheHawthorne:克罗地亚明显踢得更好,他们简直就有无数条腿…(Croatia were the better team. Infinite legs.)

Koba-chan:还有没有科学道理了,克罗地亚连踢120分钟,根本就没看见他们累啊!(HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?: Croatian man runs for 120 minutes straight without getting tired.)

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Zikerz:这场比赛,反而是英格兰队像是连踢3场加时赛的状态…(England playing like they were the ones to play 3 extra times in a row.)

skrellnik:其实,克罗地亚踢这些加时赛,只是为了给下一场比赛热身而已…(Croatia just let those other games go to extra time to warm up for next match.)

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humptydumptyies:英格兰上半场:让我们来踢快乐足球!英格兰下半场:我们其实从来不会踢球…(england in the first half: let's create opportunities for fun. england in the second half: we've never played football before.)

ACardAttack:我的年龄比克罗地亚建国时间都要长了,现在他们踢进了世界杯决赛,而我的人生都做了些什么…(I'm older than Croatia and they've made the World Cup final, what am I doing with my life...)

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sarrop:大力神杯没有回家,英格兰队却回家了…(Coming home: It’s ❌. They’re ✅.)

marinate:我就知道,曼朱基奇在重大场合绝对不虚!(I know Mandzukic has a massive power of scoring importmant goals lol.)

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Distilledwill:我们故意输了球,就是为了避免面对强大的法国队,另一半区的比利时明显就好对付多了嘛,机智的索斯盖特!(We lost to avoid France and get into the easier half of the draw vs Belgium. Smart from Southgate.)

0DegreesCalvin:现在我们又要看一遍英格兰和比利时的快乐足球了,这次到底谁想赢,恐怕更加难猜了…(Now we get the added joy of watching England-Belgium again, with even more questions about if anyone even wants to win the game.)

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Saturdalia:这也许是种解脱吧,,当时人们批评英格兰根本不想赢,也有人批评比利时不想输,现在他们最终还是来到同一个位置了…(It's actually a bit of a relief. People criticizing England for not trying to win, or Belgium for not trying to lose, and in the end they both landed in the same place.)

temp_variable:有谁能想到,这届世界杯英格兰竟要和比利时踢连两场根本就没人关心的比赛…(Who'd have thought this world cup would have two pointless England vs Belgium games nobody cares for.)

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Nadir786:英格兰应该让凯恩上场啊,有他在的话这场比赛肯定会大不一样的!(England should have brought on Harry Kane, things would be different with him.)

Olympicomega:起码阿根廷输的两场球是输给了冠亚军,现在我感觉好多了…(At least the 2 teams that beat Argentina in the final, I feel better now.)

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hab12690:足球只不过是22个人追着球跑120分钟,最后克罗地亚人获胜的游戏而已!(Football is a simple game. 22 men chase a ball for 120 minutes and at the end, Croatia wins.)

MXIIII:你们在抱怨什么呢?英格兰是意识到世界杯已经变成欧洲杯了,而骄傲的英国人早就脱欧了,所以退出比赛岂不是很好?(What are you guys complaining about? As soon as England realized it was going to be an all European final, as proud British people they put in an exquisite Brexit performance. Well done!)

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_marinate:说实话,英格兰队的表现已经不错了,谁也没指望他们能走这么远,起码不能说英格兰这届世界杯是“常规操作”了!(Tbh England played great, no one had them getting this far. We can’t say “typical England” this time.)

26326312:特里皮尔这脚任意球,让自己和查尔顿爵士以及莱因克尔一起,成为了英格兰在世界杯半决赛仅有的3名进球者…(Trippier is now up there with Sir Bobby Charlton and Gary Lineker as the only England players to have ever scored in a world cup semi final.)

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kuky990:当初穆帅要买佩剑的时候,国米标价4800万,英国媒体那是一片嘲笑之声啊!现在我只想说,香不香?(English media teased so much when Mourinho wanted Perisic and Inter wanted 48mil for him, and now you see it.)

Lorduzair:C罗去了尤文,布冯去了大巴黎,利物浦踢进了欧冠决赛,英格兰踢进了世界杯半决赛,教授也离开阿森纳了。天呐,我们这是时空错乱了吗?(Ronaldo at Juventus. Buffon at PSG. Liverpool in the CL Final. England in the WC Semis. No Arsene at Arsenal. Dammit, We’ve definitely time warped.)

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:只有420万人口的克罗地亚,是1930年之后进世界杯决赛人口最少的国家

男篮世界杯赌球,RecentCode:有趣的是,在reddit足球版块上,标注自己是克罗地亚球迷的人,已经比克罗地亚全国人口还多了…(Another fun fact: there are more Croatian flairs in /r/soccer right now than there are Croatians in the world.)

Livingparallel:格拉斯哥商店里的克罗地亚球衣都已经卖光了,因为苏格兰球迷都会支持英格兰的对手…(Glasgow is running out of Croatia shirts as Scots back England’s opponents.

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Elketro:英格兰踢得不错,从第54分钟就开始浪费时间了…(Time wasting at 54 minute, classy England.)

Enalshowroom:拉基蒂奇真是巴萨性价比最高的引援之一了,如此优秀的球员就然只花了1800万,这简直就是抢劫…(Rakitic is one of the best Barca purchases getting a player like him for 18 million dear god what a rob!)

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好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们下期不见不散!

重在练兵,阿根廷3-0危地马拉

astral_cowboy:现在看到帕文和梅萨,还是会感到菊花一禁…(Im still clenching my butt when seeing Pavon and Meza.)

Zapla_24:可怜的迪巴拉,在尤文成了替补,来到国家队还是替补…(Juventus benching Dybala, now Argentina. Feel so sorry for him)

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本文由美洲杯赌球发布于体育竞赛,转载请注明出处:国外也有段子手:这一次,奏响自己的狂想曲!

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